


stop playing by the rules

by Siebenschön (grendelsmom)



Series: tumblr requests [2]
Category: Moonlight Lovers (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M, and by loosely I mean I read a summary and went wild with it, and the mc in otome games is there for a reason, loosely based on vladimir's chapter 5, the reader goes by the name of eloise because I hate this whole y/n thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22254550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grendelsmom/pseuds/Siebensch%C3%B6n
Summary: After Vladimir has been badly hurt in his fight with the other, murderous vampire and you’re done with playing the damsel in distress and feeling useless. Luckily, a opportunity presents itself, when Ivan tries to sneak out of the manor...
Relationships: Ivan (Moonlight Lovers)/Reader
Series: tumblr requests [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1614595
Kudos: 9





	stop playing by the rules

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely based on Vladimir’s chapter 5. And while this may feel like a Vladimir fic, I swear it’s not - pinky promise! I also should start actually playing the chapters before writing fanfiction about the them, because I only read a summary of chapter 5. Oopsie.
> 
> This was written for an anonymous request over at my tumblr blog @siebenschoen

You can see Vladimir's sleeping form through the slightly opened door. The sight makes your heart clench. He hasn't woken ever since the fight with the vampire, that murdered all these young women, and you basically had to drag Vladimir's unconscious form back to the manor. You feel guilty... If you hadn't walked back so late on your own, if you hadn't gone out in the first place, if you hadn't fought with him, if you had just listened to Aaron...

“Eloise?”, Raphael's voice is soft, but determined. “Eloise, come. Come away from the door.” He gently tucks at your arm. “It won't do you no good, to fret so much.” You turn around to face him. Even with out being able to see, you can make out the sad, knowing twist to his mouth. “It is not your fault. Please remember that.”

You nod, unable to speak. Your throat feels dry and you don't know if you want to sob or to scream. You glance over your shoulder, back to Vladimir's door. Raphael sighs, but his voice doesn't waver. Endlessly patient, even now. “Vladimir is strong. He will wake up. But you need to rest now, Eloise. No one will be helped, if you collapse in the hallway.”

You let yourself be dragged along, knowing that there is no use in arguing with Raphael now. And that you don't have the energy to argue, anyway.

Raphael leads you to your bedroom door and you feel incredible lonely as you step inside the room. Lonely and useless. There was nothing you could do. No higher role that you could play than the damsel in distress and it makes you sick. Vladimir could have died and the last words you had spoken to him were in anger. You don't want that. He has saved your life, twice now, and you have realised that your stuck with him. You might as well make it work.

But there is no way to make it work, if he doesn't wake up.

The day only holds uneasy sleep for you. You drift in and out of conscience, the guilt nagging at you, waking in cold sweat only to fall back into your dreams to feel the weight of a lifeless Vladimir on your shoulders. Until you finally can take it no more. You throw your legs out of your bed, hastily throwing on clothes, before stumbling down the stairs in a daze. Your mind still lingering in front of Vladimir's door.

If he dies, you'll be free. If he dies, it'll be your fault.

Out of the corner of your eyes you can make out a hooded figure sneaking through the hallway. That makes you snap out of it. Your heart is beating heavily against your ribcage, you can feel it throughout your whole body. What if the attacker has returned? To finish Vladimir off, now that he is defenceless?

The figure turns around and your breath hitches, before you relieve washes over you. It's Ivan. Everything's fine.

Ivan's eyes are blown wide open. His gaze flickers around, searching. “Are any of the others around?”, he asks.

“No”, you shake your head. “It's barely-”, you stop mid-sentence, confusion plain on your face, “dusk.” Ivan nods and turns to leave, but you'll have none of that. Hastily you run after him. “Ivan!”, you call, “Ivan, wait!”

“What are you doing here? It's still daylight - you'll get hurt, if you -”

“I know”

“What?”, you stop in your track, “But then why are you? Wait- Where are you going?”

Ivan's face is hidden under his hood, when he says: “I didn't know I needed your permission to go somewhere.”

“You don't it's just...” Realisation hits you. “This is because of Vladimir, right? You know something, don't you?” Ivan stops, caught. Your breath hitches. “You do! But why would you be sneak- You didn't tell the others!” Your voice jumps. “You know something and you didn't tell them!”

Ivan spins around. Worry and guilt are etched into his features. His gaze jumps around, frantically. “Please, be quite, Eloise, please”, his voice wavers.

“What do you know, Ivan? Where are you going?”

Your words seem to pain him. “Please, Eloise, quite, the others-”

“I've been worried sick, Ivan!”, tears dwell up in your eyes, “Sick! You hear me? And now I find out that you knew something and told no one?! A way to help Vladimir-”

“I don't know how to help, Vladimir!”, Ivan's voice grows loud, harsh. The shock makes you freeze. “I'm sorry, Eloise, I didn't- I didn't mean to...”, Ivan looks as surprised as you are. He sighs. “I don't know how to help Vladimir. I really don't, you have to believe me.”

“Then what do you know?”, you almost whisper.

“The attacker, I”, he refuses to meat you eyes, ”... I was close, when the fight happened. I could smell him. And I believe that I know where he's headed.”

“But if you were close, why didn't you-”

“I was scared. I've never been in a fight with a vampire before. And I... I was so scared.”, his gaze finally meats yours and you're nearly thrown back by the amount of guilt hidden in it.

“The others wouldn't let you go.”, you conclude, “That's why you're sneaking out before dusk.”

“Yes”, Ivan sighs, “Please, don't tell them. I was a coward and now Vladimir's hurt. I need to make it up, I need to go - do you understand?”

“I do” \- “Thank you, I owe you-” - “And I'll come with you.”

Ivan freezes. “What? No!” His voice jumps in a way that would have been funny in another situation. “It's dangerous. If something were to happen to you, Vladimir would kill me. I can't-”

“And you think the others will take kindly to it, when they eventually figure out that I let you sneak out without telling anyone? No, Ivan. I couldn't help Vladimir either, when he was attacked. I'm done with sitting around and feeling useless. I need to do something!”, you take a deep breath, determination has settled deep into your heart, “Either we go together or everyone in this house will know that you're gone, before the sun has set. It's your choice.”

Ivan throws a last glance up the stairs. He doesn't look happy with the situation you put him in. In fact, he looks more worried than you have ever seen him. You can see biting the inside of his cheek. He's debating with himself, you can tell.

“Fine. But please, don't”, he stops, searching for words, “put yourself in unnecessary danger?” He cringes at his own words.

“I'll try my best.”, you promise, but deep down you know that you might not be true to your words.

You follow Ivan out of the manor, into the forest. Every little bit of his skin is carefully hidden from the sun. He does it effortlessly and you can't help but wonder, how often he sneaks out like this, wrapped in his cloak, without anyone knowing.

The shoes you wear were not made for tracking through the woods - you can feel every stick and every stone -, but you doubt Ivan would have waited for you, if you had asked to get changed. And so you ignore the discomfort like you ignore the twigs and branches tugging on your skirt and hair. Instead you focus on the goal ahead. Finding the monster that harmed Vladimir.

Ivan doesn't possess the same natural grace the others have, when walking through the forest. He moves more silent than a human would, but it's not with the same elegance you have noticed in the other vampires. He seems more like a fawn that needs to grow into its long legs, unsure and unused to every movement.

It does make sense, you suppose. He has only been recently turned. The powers must still be new to him. It reminds you of yourself in a way. Thrown into something that you do not understand, without any kind of warning.

Dusk has finally come, the last rays of sunlight fading out. It's even darker in the forest than it must be outside of it. You follow close behind Ivan. Barely being able to see where you're going, you use the movement of his body as a guide. Neither of you talk much, Ivan's too focused on following the trail he found and your mind is drifting back and forth between the manor and what might await you ahead.

Ivan's hood has fallen from his head and you focus on the bobbing of his hair - bright, against the dark of the forest - to make out when you have to look out for roots or large stones. But it becomes harder and harder for you to make out even simplest of shapes. You stumble more than you walk and try as you might, it becomes nearly impossible to keep up with Ivan.

Without thinking your hand reaches forward and buries itself deep into the folds of Ivan's hood. He stops dead in his tracks and throws a long look over his shoulder. Even in the black of the night you can make out his eyes. They are almost glowing and yellow. _Like sunflowers_. You shake off the thought and smile apologetically, knowing that Ivan can see as clearly as he can in daylight. “Sorry, but I don't see a thing in the dark.”

“Oh”, Ivan looks up to the night sky, as if only now realising how dark it has gotten. “No, I am sorry. I still sometimes forget that I have... special abilities.”

“It's fine. I just... need some help, I guess.”, you shrug it off, although you can't help, but feel embarrassed. You didn't want to feel useless anymore and yet here you are again - holding Ivan back. You bite the inside of your cheek. There's no use in thinking like that. It will help no one - not you, not Ivan, not Vladimir.

Hand buried in Ivan's hood, you take to walking even closer behind him than before. It is still weird to be so close to another person without feeling their body heat, only a strange, cold presence. But yet it is also different from being close to Vladimir. Vladimir's presence is all corpse-like coolness, but with Ivan it feels like there's still a touch of warmth, hidden deep within him. A last bit of humanity still left in him. In a way it is even stranger, but at the same time weirdly comforting.

Soon clouds gather over the once clear night sky and there's a sudden chill to the air. You can smell the rain in the air and if you can smell it that means- “Fuck”, Ivan sighs, “Rain. Just the thing we needed.”

“Will you be able to smell him despite that?”

You can practically hear him grinding his teeth. "I will have to." You shoot a worried glance up to the sky, but try to calm yourself down. There are worse things than rain.

It doesn't take long for you to curse your past self, as massive clouds empty themselves above you two. Fate is a bitch and the storm is coming. You are absolutely drenched and Ivan fares none the better. Your wet hair and clothes are stuck to your body, the wind tucking at your legs and forcing the trees to bow dangerously low. You can hear thunder crashing above you and it doesn't take long for the sky to burn white with lightning - which means it's close to you. Fuck.

Ivan seems determined to continue, but there's no way you'll be able to carry on. You need to get both of you out of the rain – fast.

You try to to get his attention, by tucking at his cloak, calling out to him – but either he ignores you, or he just doesn't notice.

A loud crack and than the world around you is yet again bright for a few, precious seconds. Frantically you scan your surroundings looking for something that might give you cover from the rain - anything, really. And then suddenly you spot it. The small entrance of a cave. Not much, but enough.

You still have strong grip on Ivan's hood and hoping that the element of surprise will be enough, you send a quick prayer to the thundering sky, before throwing yourself with all your weight into the direction of the cave. The sudden pull makes Ivan lose his footing and with a shrill yelp he falls after you, stumbling into the relatively dry opening.

“What the-!” He catches himself with one hand on the stone wall, while you collapse on the floor, your legs spread out far. The exhaustion from walking for hours without a break is finally catching up to you and weighs heavy on your limbs.

Ivan's face is stuck somewhere between confused and furious. “What- What was that about?!”

“I just can't continue anymore.” - ”And you couldn't have _told_ me?”

You laugh. “Please, Ivan, you barely heard the lightning, so focused were you on following the track. Or what's left of it, more likely.”

“There will be nothing, if we don't continue now.”

“There's already nothing, Ivan! You can't tell me you're able to smell this man through that kind of rain! You probably can't even see further than the tip of your own nose!”, you shake your head, “Plus it would be incredibly dangerous to continue now.”

Ivan folds his arms in front of his chest and stares out into the rain. “For you maybe, but I could-”

“Oh, stop it!” You don't have the energy to deal with that kind of attitude. “What if lightning stroke? There's still enough dry bits to make for at least a small fire. Or better even it hits a tree right next to us! I don't remember vampires being immune to either. So, stop sulking and sit down.”

Ivan doesn't sit down. Instead, he just turns his glare from the forest to you. “You wanted to come along. You were desperate to come along. And now you're giving up?”

That strikes a nerve with you. “I am not giving up.”, you press out through gritted teeth. But as quick as the fighting spirit enters you, it leaves again. You're just so tired. “It's true. I want to find the guy, who did these horrible things to Vladimir. But I don't want to get killed in the progress. Especially not by some bad weather.” A dry laugh escapes you. “And don't forget: me dying, would kill him as well.”

That seems to finally convince Ivan. He slips down the rough cave wall onto the floor. There's not much space, your legs are almost touching. You can feel that weird not quite human, not quite vampire either warmth on your bare legs. It doesn't really help the uncomfortable tension that is quickly building up. Ivan's gaze keeps on jumping back to the entrance of the cave and you can tell that there's a part of him that's desperate to run out and keep on searching. And you don't really know what to say, without offending him or making everything worse just in general. 

You chew on the inside of your lip, trying to come up with something - anything really - that would make this situation more bearable, when Ivan speaks up. “I just don't get it. Back at the manor you were so desperate to save Vladimir and I guess it makes sense, you're his chalice after all and there's-”

“Can people please stop throwing around the word 'chalice' like it explains everything I'm doing or that I'm supposed to be doing? You guys act like it's the only thing I'm defined by.”, you say, but your words lack real bite. “I'm so tired of it.”

“But it is important. It changed your whole life. It changed who you are, just like my-”, he stops, but you know what he was about to say. “The bond you have with Vladimir is so special and now you almost act as if you don't care. I just don't understand it, I suppose.”

“I do care”, you sigh, “And the bond I have with Vladimir is special, that's true. But... let's be honest here, Ivan, I barely know him.” You let your head fall back against the wall. The exhaustion overwhelms you and makes you stop caring. “I don't know shit about him.” You laugh. “And sometimes I wonder if I truly want to know more. I promised myself I would try my best, but he can be such an ass. Why should I put up with that? Why should I just shut up and accept him for who he is, when he can't do the same for me? He saved my life - and I'm thankful for that! - and I don't want him to die, but I also never asked to be his chalice.” 

Ivan has stayed quiet throughout - his fingers are busy toying with small stones and dried twigs - and you're thankful for that. You don't have the energy to argue right now. 

“You chose him.”

Normally you might have been offended by that statement, but now you just laugh. “I was bleeding to death, Ivan. I wasn't exactly at the height of my mental abilities.” His gaze is still turned down, focusing on the small stone in his hand. “What? Did you want me to choose you?”

As soon as the question leaves your mouth, you regret it. Ivan's head snaps up, he stares at you wide-eyed. His eyes - _they are pretty, like sunflowers._ He _is pretty._ You blink quickly, trying your hardest to shake these - probably - just rest deprived thoughts off. “That would have just been a disaster waiting to happen, right?”, your laugh sounds fake even to your own ears.

But your tired mind can't stop clinging to that one thought. Ivan truly is pretty. His blondish hair is wild and sticking into every direction. You notice that he has nice hands and before you can scold yourself for thinking something weird, you decided that you really like that. You don't even mind the dark circles under his eyes or that his skin is unnatural pale. A sudden rush of adrenaline goes through you. It doesn't take a genius to realise that you're attracted to him.

All at once, you become hyper aware of everything about you. Of the dirt stains and little bruises on your legs - that without doubt come from tracking through a forest for hours. Of the way your hair and dress still cling to your body and probably don't leave much for imagination. It becomes harder to breath.

This is dangerous. Really dangerous. You can feel Ivan's gaze on you. Desperately you search through your mind for something that'll take the tension, the weird edge everything around you just got away. But it is no use. The air is electrifying. Your skin is burning were it barely even touches Ivan's. This is so not good. You jump to your feet. “I'm sorry, I overstepped. I'm just tired and cold and- a bit miserable, to be honest.” The words stumble out of your mouth and fall onto the floor. There they lie awkwardly – meaningless – between the vampire and you.

Ivan rises from the floor. He's taller than you, but not towering over your head. His closeness is intimate, not intimidating. You know that he is a predator. You should know that more than anyone. But it's hard to remember that, when he stands right next to you, his eyes nervously flickering around. Looking just as young and scared as you are. The terrifying feeling of his teeth ripping into your flesh, seems but a distant, almost unreal memory. The way his proximity makes your heart beat fast is so much closer to you, so much more real.

"Don't apologise.", Ivan's voice is strained. He is looking everywhere but at you. "You're right. Maybe it would have been a disaster. But to answer your question" – his eyes meet yours and your heart misses a beat. All of the sudden, the cave seems much too small and the distance between Ivan and you much too far at the same time. "Yes, sometimes, I wish that you would have chosen me. Especially, since it becomes harder and harder to control myself around you." You can feel your cheeks heating up at that statement.

To say that you think about what you do next, is an overstatement. It's more instinct than anything that pushes you forward. There's a small part of you that knows that this is wrong. That there is some unwritten rule out there saying that this is something you're really, really not supposed to be doing. But fuck this, this is not your world and you're tired of playing by their rules – and goddammit, you want, you want... 

Your lips are crashing into Ivan's. For a moment he is frozen, then his lips start moving against yours, longingly, desperately. There is a fleeting warmth to it, like a candle burning out. His hands are clutching at your waist, drawing you closer, and you follow without complaint. You can feel his sharp teeth grazing your lips, but the feeling isn't frightening. Instead, it sends shivers down your spine, fuelling the fire that burns in the pit of your stomach. It excites you.

The worry about Vladimir is not gone. But you left it outside the cave, in the storm, that brought you here. It's hard to think about these things, when you're pressed close to Ivan. And as his tongue licks along your lower lip, you can admit to yourself that you don't really want to. This might have terrible consequences, but you tilt your head to the side and bury your fingers in the soft hair of Ivan's nape and decided that whatever that may be, it's definitely going to be a problem for later.

For now all that counts is the way Ivan's body feels against yours.


End file.
